The Pearl Files: Anna continues Pearly Things debate.

Is Pearl’s Advice on “Waiting for the High-Value Man” Practical?

Pearl is back with another take on relationships, this time focusing on women needing to “wait” for the elusive “high-value man.” While I appreciate the sentiment, everyone deserves a partner who appreciates and respects them,  I worry that the application of this advice, as Pearl presents it, can leave some lovely ladies waiting indefinitely by the phone.

Let’s unpack a few things. First, the definition of “high-value man” is subjective and often tied to societal markers that, frankly, aren’t always the best indicators of a good partner. Money, career success, and status are definitely nice to have, but they don’t automatically translate into kindness, empathy, emotional intelligence, or the ability to build a healthy, lasting relationship. I’ve known plenty of “high-value” men, by traditional measures, who are emotionally unavailable, controlling, or simply unhappy. And, darling, unhappiness is contagious.

Pearl’s advice often centers around women needing to elevate themselves to “earn” the attention of these “high-value” men. While self-improvement is always a worthy pursuit – be it learning a new skill, pursuing a passion, or working on your personal growth – it shouldn’t be driven by the sole purpose of attracting a partner. Improving yourself should be about feeling good in your own skin, building confidence, and living a fulfilling life, regardless of your relationship status. This intrinsic motivation will radiate outwards and, ironically, that is what’s truly attractive to anyone, not just a man fitting a specific checklist.

The problem with “waiting” is that life marches on. While holding standards is important – never settle for less than you deserve – rigid expectations can blind you to wonderful possibilities. Sometimes, the person who’s right for you might not tick all the boxes on your pre-determined list. They might be a diamond in the rough, still working on themselves, but possessing a genuine heart and a willingness to grow alongside you. Are you willing to dismiss someone who shows immense potential, simply because they don’t yet possess all the outward trappings of “high value”?

Furthermore, the act of “waiting” can breed resentment and bitterness. It can lead to a feeling that you’re sacrificing your own happiness and potential for a hypothetical future that may never materialize. That’s no way to live, sweetie. Life is meant to be enjoyed now, not put on hold for some future ideal.

Instead of “waiting” for a specific type of man, I encourage you to focus on becoming the best version of yourself and actively building a fulfilling life. Pursue your passions, cultivate meaningful friendships, and create a life you love, regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not. This approach not only makes you happier and more well-rounded but also naturally attracts people who are aligned with your values and lifestyle.

Also, consider broadening your definition of “high value.” Look for qualities like integrity, kindness, empathy, a good sense of humor, a willingness to communicate openly, and a genuine desire to build a partnership. These are the qualities that truly matter in the long run, and they’re often found in unexpected places. Someone who is actively working towards improving themselves, even if they haven’t reached the pinnacle of “success” yet, can be a far more valuable partner than someone who has it all but lacks the emotional depth to sustain a meaningful connection.

Finally, remember that relationships are a two-way street. You deserve a partner who values you for who you are, not just for what you can offer. Don’t get so caught up in trying to “earn” someone’s attention that you forget to assess whether they are truly worthy of yours. Are they kind, respectful, and supportive? Do they make you feel good about yourself? Do they share your values and goals? These are the questions you should be asking yourself, rather than simply focusing on whether they meet some external definition of “high value.”

So, darling, don’t wait. Live your life, pursue your passions, and be open to the possibilities that come your way. The right person will come along when the time is right, and they might surprise you by not fitting the mold you expected. Trust your instincts, prioritize your own happiness, and never settle for less than you deserve. And remember, real value comes from within, both in yourself and in a partner. Focus on that, and you’ll be just fine.